Friday, April 06, 2007
"Could you sign this for me, please? Oh my God, I'm freaking out! I love you! I just loved you in Mean Girls, Lindsay!"
"Oh no you didn't just call me, Lindsay! Don't you know who I am? I am Hilary Duff, star of Cheaper By the Dozen 1 and 2 and don't you forget it!"
Poor Hilary! It must be so hard to be a good girl in Hollywood nowadays when the bad girls get all the attention. Not only is she not mystic tanned into a sickly orange shade, but she sports no implants, hasn't been photographed falling down drunk, and we've never seen her vagina even once! In fact the only thing I can seem to recall about Hils is that her veneers resemble gigantic chiclets and her sister starred in "Napoleon Dynamite." Gosh.
Step it up, girl! Don't worry about talent, talent is for losers. If you ever want to get off the B-list then you've got to get yourself talked about. May I suggest a cocaine binge, shaving your head, and then attacking a photog's car with some sort of sharp implement? True, you may end up in rehab and people might call you a skank, but at least they will know your name!