Friday, April 06, 2007

Hilary!

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"Could you sign this for me, please? Oh my God, I'm freaking out! I love you! I just loved you in Mean Girls, Lindsay!"


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"Oh no you didn't just call me, Lindsay! Don't you know who I am? I am Hilary Duff, star of Cheaper By the Dozen 1 and 2 and don't you forget it!"


Poor Hilary! It must be so hard to be a good girl in Hollywood nowadays when the bad girls get all the attention. Not only is she not mystic tanned into a sickly orange shade, but she sports no implants, hasn't been photographed falling down drunk, and we've never seen her vagina even once! In fact the only thing I can seem to recall about Hils is that her veneers resemble gigantic chiclets and her sister starred in "Napoleon Dynamite." Gosh.

Step it up, girl! Don't worry about talent, talent is for losers. If you ever want to get off the B-list then you've got to get yourself talked about. May I suggest a cocaine binge, shaving your head, and then attacking a photog's car with some sort of sharp implement? True, you may end up in rehab and people might call you a skank, but at least they will know your name!

11 comments:

Scottsdale Girl said...

those legs are NOT Mysticasized. *HOlds hand over eyes*

HOPPY EASTER!

Diane said...

If you're going to wear high heels and short shorts, do go all the way and add Suntan colored stockings

LA said...

You could also marry a gay scientologist. That's how I finally got Katie Holmes straight.

ffleur said...

She is way prettier than Lohan. Less freckles too one would think. Poor Hil, no respect.

GetFlix said...

Ahhhh, Hilary holds her own. I hope you have a great Easter, Pru. And, I think by the time you read this, you're gonna stop thinking about bathing suits.

The cold air is heading south.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

She's trying, Pru. She's been working the "pressure to be thin" angle lately.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

I kinda can't wait to hear her break-up songs off her new album. It's apparently all about how she hates Joel Madden and Nicole Richie. Hahaha... Nothing like capturing your breakup hatred in song form.

Happy Easter!

Evil Pru said...

Happy Easter to my favorite hawt chicks and one wascaly wabbit!

morbid misanthrope said...

The best way for young starlets to make the news: screaming, naked cannibalism.

Evil Pru said...

Morbid- Isn't that going to be a new reality show? Naked Cannibal Island?

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