Thursday, February 15, 2007

I See Scientology People

Whoa...what the heck? My head!!! These last couple of days have been a blur. I know Evil Pru was around because I found the $500 worth of sex toys she shoplifted. God when is she going to quit? How many dildos does one person need anyway?

The last thing I can remember clearly was sitting at my desk and writing an uplifting song about Tom and Katie's love. Oh all right, I was making fun of them. And then Xenu showed up....

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He was kinda pissed off.

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I recall getting very dizzy. Somebody was asking me something. I sorta remember confessing to swiping Richie Sambora's sunscreen. And then things got really weird.....

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"Yes, this one does have nice, wide, childbearing hips. Muyhahahahahah."

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"I find her too mouthy, my master, but I suppose she will do. We need a boy this time."

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What the hell....what's going on? My ass is cold.

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Shhhhhhhhh. Just relax, baby. This can be fun. Katie seemed to enjoy herself an awful lot.

Josh Hartnett? What are you.....mmmmm yeah that feels pretty good. That's right. Oh yes! Yes! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

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And then I woke up this morning covered in scratches. Yikes! That was the weirdest dream I've ever had. That'll teach me not to eat an anchovey and onion pizza with a Butter Brickle milkshake right before bed. Never again! Ugh, I feel queesy. Well at least it was just a dream. Just a really freaky dream. Right?

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Heh heh. Exxxxxcellent. Muyhahahahahahhaha.

To be continued???????


prunella jones said...

This post is dedicated to Mishy since she gave me the idea. Don't worry though Mish, I won't mention your name the next time Xenu comes to my door. I'll blame Matt Lauer. They already think he's glib.

Debbie said...

I did a search for blogs on Scientology & yours is the first that came up. My landlord is the biggest control freak & seems to think everyone should be happy to do things his way. Tonight I googled him & found out he's a Scientologist. It explains everything. LMAO.

Loved your Scientology artwork. Hail Xenu. (Just trying to cover my ass.)

Anonymous said...

You do realize, of course, that the whole "Xenu" thing was started by conspiracy-kook sites and has no basis in reality? Most Scientologists have never even heard of Xenu. Nevertheless, I had to admit your post was humorous :) But do try to understand that Scientology is nothing like the way it's become trendy for comedians, gossip columnists and bloggers to portray for the sake of laughs.

prunella jones said...

debbie- it makes me laugh to hear that my blog came up first when you did a search on Scientology. WTF? Usually I only come up first when someone is researching butthole bleaching. (and I'm very proud of that!)

wax-q- you mean Xenu isn't true? Nooooo! I'm very fond of the idea of the idea of a great spaceman in the sky. Thanks for stopping by.

Scottsdale Girl said...

Yup it's an alien!

Scottsdale Girl said...

PS I am totally diggin the new avatar, yes I know, you've had it awhile, I'm slow k?

LA said...

The Rosemary's Baby picture was a goddamned stroke of genius. I bow to your intellectual prowess.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Oh, Pru! Don't make me responsible for your future wigged-out pretend baby. How long is Tom going to make you wear the fake pregnancy belly?

This post was too funny!

GetFlix said...

Let me guess, El Hombre slept through the whole thing?

Frannie Farmer said...

Seriously girl, you are the master ... your ability to find the right words with the right pictures is genius!
You are a Rock Star!!!

prunella jones said...

SG- thanks bb. I do love to be trendy.

LA- Rosemary's Baby is one of my favorite movies.

Mish- how long was Katie pregnant? 13 months or so? About that long.

GF- that's a good question. He was probably playing WOW. He wouldn't notice the house burning down if he was involved in a battle.

prunella jones said...

fran- thank you my sweet! ;D

T-girl said...

OMG! TOO funny! OH and I don't care if Xenu is real or not it is a CULT! There I said it, yes I did! If that is not how it is, well, then why let Tom "I am a freak" Cruise be the spokes person? yeah... sorry that is the way it is! Just saying! ;)

ffleur said...

I'm so glad you got Josh instead of Tom. At least there was some fun to be had.