The Prunella Jones Story is the true modern day Cinderella tale of Prunella Jones, the smokin hot freelance writer who overcame both OCD and a deprived childhood in the Inland Empire, by using her incredible body to become a Hollywood IT girl. Mary KAte Olsen stars in this uplifting story of a plucky gal who refused to give up, even after she developed a serious drug/alcohol problem, gambled away her fortune, got dumped by both Johnny Depp and Jake Gyllenhaal, AND lost her alien baby, Ozzie Danzig, to the Scientologists. (see the May 15th episode for clarification)
In today's episode, Pru has just been released from the psychiatric hospital.
"What are you looking at? You never saw a crazy lady before?"
"Damn, everything sucks. I have no money and nothing but the clothes on my back and a few ciggies. What am I going to do? I'm not going back to Riverside, hell no! I'll have to find some sort of job."
Pru: "Well at least I'm skinnier than I've ever been in my life. Oh and look, there's half of an ecstacy tablet left in my purse. Sweet! Just what I needed. Now I feel like dancing!"
Random Guy: "Hey there honey, you look good. How much for a date?"
Pru: "Fuck off, freak!"
"Oh God, just when I think my life can't get any worse, now I'm being mistaken for a prostitute? Why would he think that? Just because I'm walking the streets in high heels and lingerie? This nightgown cost $500 at La Perla!
(sigh) What am I going to do? It's hopeless! I should just go throw myself off of a bridge!"
"Hey, Prunella. Don't talk like that, baby."
"Wow, Joey Ramone? I love you! I'm glad to see you went to heaven, Joey. But what's up with the Dr. Martens boots? Who wears those past high school?
"Yeah, I know. I prefer Converse myself, but what are ya gonna do? They were issued to me with the robe. Anyhow, I don't wanna hear anymore talk about offin yerself, all right? You just need a job. Promise me you'll take the first job that comes along, okay?"
"I sure will. Thanks Joey, you rock! Well, how about that? Things are looking up."
"Excuse me, did I hear you say you were looking for a job? What a coincidence! I happen to have an opening for a personal assistant. What a lucky day for you."
"Um.....Joey? This wasn't exactly what I had in mind.....Joey?"
Should Pru take the job as Naomi Campbell's personal assistant? Can she avoid getting beaned by Naomi's diamond studded cell phone? Will she be able to maintain a size 00? Find out in the next episode of The Prunella Jones Story