Saturday, December 06, 2008
A Sparkling Tale
Hello friends. Welcome to Sparkletown. My name is Fairy Pru and I'll be your guide. So what are you waiting for? Grab a pair of sunglasses and let's go.
Here in Sparkletown we love music. My sister Tequila and I have a rock band and we call ourselves The Tweeters. At least, that's the new name. We used to call ourselves Shitney Beers but it turns out there was already a band with that name. Who'd a thunk it, huh?
Playing in a band gets you lots of admirers. That's where I met my friend Tiny Elvis. He may be a little squirt but gosh he sings well!
I like Tiny El a lot except for the way he's always hitting on me. He just won't seem to take no for an answer. I have to admire his persistence even though I'm not really interested. You see, I'm a very good girl and I already have a boyfriend.
My boyfriend, Hagathor Von Birdner III, is the coolest guy in Sparkletown. Well I think he's cool anyway. My friends are always saying that he looks like a total douchebag but may I point out that he:
-- always brings me flowers.
-- takes me to the hottest places.
-- drives all the other fairy chicks wild.
-- he doesn't always wear the gangster bling, okay? He just wears it once in a while for fun. Don't give me that look! At least I got rid of his pimp cup.
I'm really a very lucky girl -- what's that Butterfly Bob? My fiancee was spotted in the big city getting cozy with notorious man thief Fairy Angelina? What??? I don't believe it! Show me!
OMG that bitch! How dare he make a fool out of me! I'll kill them both!
It's not fair, Bob. I gave that jerk the best two months of my life! Why would he do this to me? Why? At least he left his bag of weed here. C'mon, let's smoke it all up while we destroy these crappy discount flowers he sent. I can't believe I wasted so much time with that loser.
I wonder what he sees in her. Just because she's gorgeous and slutty and tattooed....(puff)....you know, Bob, I used to think it was blondes that had more fun but now I see it's actually the sluts.
Well, two can play at that game! I can be slutty too! In fact, if I don't jump right back in there I might end up sitting at home playing with a Dollar Store coloring book and glitter graphics or something goofy like that. Ewwww that would be lame! No way!!!!
Hey there, stud. What's going on? Tee hee.