Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Random Lists

5 Billboards I Noticed While Driving Through Kentucky and My Rebuttals To Them

1. Jesus IS Lord


2. Hell IS Real!!!

Yes, it it. Most people know it as Kentucky though.


Make me, fucker.

4. If You Died Today, Where Would You Spend Eternity?

Sailing through various universes and dimensions. Duh.

5. Jesus Died For Our Sins!

So, give him a medal already. Geez!

3 Nicknames I Call My Mother Daily

1. Sassy Boots
2. Lady Nag Nag
3. Madam Mother

5 Nicknames I Call My Cat

1. Lard Lad
2. Big Fun
3. Johnny Fatboy
4. Fat Boy on a Diet, Don't Try It, Attack Yo Ass Like a Looter in a Riot
5. Toilet Paw Jones

The Top 5 Worst States I've Spent Time In, In Order of Shittiness

1. Georgia
2. Georgia
3. Kensucky
4. Florida (except for the beaches)
5. Arizona

12 Things I Enjoy In No Particular Order

1. conspiracy theories
2. UFOs
3. books
4. cashmere sweaters
5. eccentric people
6. trashy gossip
7. monkeys
8. contemplating parallel universes
9. cartoony art
10. ventriloquism
11. lucid dreams
12. thunderstorms

My Top 3 Favorite Legal Drugs

1. caffeine
2. Adderall
3. sugar

3 Books I Am Currently Reading and What I Think of Them So Far

1. Seth Speaks
by Jane Roberts

Trippy channeled information about death, past lives, lost civilizations, etc., written in the early 70's. I love this kind of stuff.

2. Drinking, Smoking, and Screwing: Great Writer's on Good Times
Edited by Sara Nickles

My kind of stories!

3. The Secret Architecture of Our Nation's Capital: The Mason's and the Building of Washington D.C.
by David Ovason

Just started this one, but it's already blowing my mind. Looks like astrology was a pretty big deal to our forefathers. That certainly explains why Nancy Reagan relied on that astrologer so much during the Regan era.

10 Reasons Why I Have a Sneaking Suspicion That We Are Actually Living On a Prison Planet That Is Run By an Evil Overlord Who Gets Off on Torturing Us

1. the stomach flu and every other nasty illnesses (how come there aren't any viruses that make us feel good? Wouldn't it be in their best interests to make the host happy and well? Seems like there should be at least one just according to natural selection?)

2. mosquitoes and other bitey insects
3. constant rules, regulations, and paperwork required for everything
4. cellulite
5. the fact that so many turds (example: Glen Beck) are millionaires
6. pimples
7. allergies
8. war
9. politics
10. the fact that we only live about 80 years and our teeth only last for about half that time without costly attention.