Friday, June 26, 2009

My G-g-g-generation, Talkin' ' Bout It

I just read an article all about how yesterday's deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson is some sort of big defining moment for Generation X.

“These people were on our lunchboxes,” said Gary Giovannetti, 38, a manager at HBO who grew up on Long Island awash in Farrah and MJ iconography. “This,” he said, “is the moment when Generation X realizes they’re grown up.”

As a member of that particular generation, all I can say to this is "huh" - in my most cynical voice while rolling my eyes, of course.

Celebrity deaths don't really upset me, I guess. Sure, these people have been famous for as long as I've been alive but so what? I mostly think of Farrah Fawcett as the chick with great hair who starred in Lifetimesque TV movies and went whacko on David Letterman a few years ago. She seemed nice and all, but honestly I'd be more bummed out if Kimmy Gibbler from the show Full House died.

And yeah, I'm old enough to remember when Michael Jackson was black and hung out with Bubbles the Chimp and Thriller was always on MTV - and MTV played actual videos instead of boring reality shows for that matter - I just was never much of a fan, preferring Duran Duran and The Pretenders. To be fair, lots of kid's in my class did love him tho.

This one particular kid, I think his name was Eugene, wore a different sequined glove to school everyday and spent recess practicing his moonwalk. He got really upset when this little ditty started going around the playground.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag
Michael Jackson is a fag
Pepsi Cola burned him up
Now he drinks the 7-up."

The mean bully boys would get right in his face and chant it over and over while the hapless kid cried and tried unsuccessfully to hit them. For some reason I always think of that scene whenever I hear the Pearl Jam song "Jeremy".

Poor old Eugene, I hope he's not having a nervous breakdown today. Those sequined gloves of his could probably fetch some bucks on Ebay.

Speaking of bucks, I once bought a 12 pack of Michael Jackson candy bars at The Dollar Store that I found out later are pretty rare. Does anyone remember these?

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Glitter added by me. I like things fancy.

Bet those candy bars would sell well today. Too bad I got hungry and ate them. They were very tasty as I recall.

So to summarize, that article was dumb, Kimmy Gibbler rocks, and I really like chocolate.

The End

Monday, June 22, 2009

4 Television Related Confessions

1. I wish life were like an episode of that old show Three's Company. That way my only problems would be paying rent and avoiding the homophobic landlord, and jiggling would make pretty much everything better. I'm great at jiggling so this would have worked out nicely for me.

Also - and this is a highly embarrassing confession - I really wouldn't mind it if reality came with a laugh track. Because whenever I make a smartalecky quip or zinger, I do sorta halfway expect to hear the studio audience kick in with high pitched giggles and applause.

2. Does anyone else think that Spencer Pratt from The Hills looks like someone grafted a toddler's head onto an adult's body? Is it just me?

3. To my great shame, I'm starting to find the goofy guy from those annoying Free Credit commercials sexy. Somebody slap me.

4. Sometimes while trying to will myself out of bed in the morning, I hear Richard Dawson's voice in my head saying something like this:

One hundred people surveyed, top five answers are on the board, here's the question. How will Prunella Jones spend her day?

Buzz Buzz!

Um....checking off everything on her to do list in a timely and productive manner?

Let's me to do list!

BRRRRAAANK, wrong answer.

How about bleaching the three inches of dark roots back to blonde? That's what she needs to do anyway.

BRRRRAAANK. Nope, not on the board.

Oh, I know! Screw around on the internet and waste time like the true slacker she is!

Hmmmmmm. Survey says?


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Holy Water Burns But It Gets The Job Done

Now that my demonic possession is over (thanx Father Damien), I've been obsessively following the Iranian revolution. I'm really loving watching this large group of people standing up and demanding something of their realtime on the internet! Go protesters! I just can't get enough updates on this situation. It's got me on the edge of my seat. I wish I could fast forward to tomorrow and find out what happens after the call to prayer. It seems like this is going to be the make or break moment.

Here is a good link if your interested in seeing videos and pics of the protests Iran After the Election. Check it out.

I also stumbled across this quiz a minute ago and it seemed timely.

Your result for The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test...

The Expatriate

Achtung! You are 23% brainwashworthy, 14% antitolerant, and 5% blindly patriotic

Congratulations! You are not susceptible to brainwashing, your values and cares extend beyond the borders of your own country, and your Blind Patriotism does not reach unhealthy levels. If you had been German in the 30s, you would've left the country.

One bad scenario -- as I hypothetically project you back in time -- is that you just wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Nazism. Maybe politics don't interest you enough. But the fact that you took this test means they probably do. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.

Did you know that many of the smartest Germans departed prior to the beginning of World War II, because they knew some evil shit was brewing? Brain Drain. Many of them were scientists. It is very possible you could have been one of them.

Conclusion: born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would not have been a Nazi.


The Would You Have Been A Nazi? Test
- it rules -

Take The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test
at HelloQuizzy

I'd prefer to believe that I would have been a member of the resistance but...yeah, most likely I'd have skeedaddled. Probably to Switzerland cause I like chocolate and yodeling. How about you?

Sunday, June 07, 2009

The Devil Made Me Post This

Sorry to have disappeared on you all. I didn't mean to, it's just that I've been very busy with my new job - acting as an earthly host for demons - and what with all the screaming, 360° headspins, and bed levitation, there just hasn't been much time for anything else.

Not to mention the pea soup projectile vomiting keeps mucking up my keyboard.

Things are looking up though. A priest is on his way. I should be back to blogging normally in no time.

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Well, as normally as I'm capable of at any rate.

Ewwww, that pea soup is so gross.