Saturday, August 22, 2009
Restless Hearts: A Soap Opera
It had been a long, hawt day for the residents of Casa de Prunella. But even as the sun sank into the sky, the heat index was rising higher and higher...thanks to the restless hearts inside...
(Cue the cheesy music)
In vain have I struggled. This will not do. Stripeyhead, you must allow me to tell you how much I admire and love you.
What? Jackie...what are you saying?
I'm saying, I want you. I must have you! Oh, I know it's wrong, but I can't resist. You are like my own personal brand of catnip!
But...are you sure? No, we can't...this is madness!
Look into my eyes and tell me you don't want me.
Oh God, I do! Lord help me, but I do!
Well, why don't you come over here and show me, honey?
Wha...what the hell is going on in here? Jackie? What are you doing with this tramp?
Excuse me? Who are you calling a tramp?
I'm calling you a tramp. Whore!
Jackie! Are you just going to sit there and let your slut insult me like that?
Baby please, baby, don't be like that. I can expla--
Groan... Damn, that woman can hit hard!
That's it! I've had it with you, you cad! You've humiliated me for the last time, Jackie. We're through!
Hey guys, guess what! I can lick my nose!
Um...am I interrupting something?
Why yes, Shirley, you are. You see, I was just getting ready to call this ass an ass and smack the shit out of him.
Naw Girl, listen up. You are the one I--
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Never talk to me again!
Wow. Guess what, Jackie? I think Stripey is mad at you. And so is Mae Mae. And my butt itches and I have fleas and some of them just jumped on you.
Oh, woe is me! My heart is broken. And so is my schnozzle! The pain...the humiliation...the fleas...how can I go on? How can I...zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Dang these fleas!
Uh, Jackie? Do you see that weird light in the sky? It looks like...
Oh my god! Aliens!!!
Can Jackie's heart ever mend? What about his schnozzle? Did aliens just attack? And will Shirley ever be able to get rid of her fleas???
Find out on the next episode of Restless Hearts!