Tuesday, May 19, 2009

If I Could Be Like Mike...

Did you know that former Arkansas Governor (and God's favorite little soldier) Mike Huckabee is an amazing poet? Well, it's true. Click here to see just how amazing...ly bad he is.

It gave me a chuckle anyway, and inspired me to write a few horrible poems of my own about this matter. Here they are.

Hey Ho, Let's Go!

so very mad at Pelosi.

Republicans WILL NOT abide
lying liars who just might have lied
and for once I'm on their side.

We really should investigate
this Nancy Pelosi chick,
right after the war crimes trials
of Rumsfeld, Condie, W. and Dick!

Limericks Are Sinful

There once was a big douchebag named Mike
whom only Chuck Norris could like
although torture is fine
Nancy should resign
Waa waa go cry some more, bible thumper.

Huckabee Douchbuggeree

There was an old dork named Michael Huckabee
stuffed full of fail and lots of suck-a-ree
tried to impress Rush Limbaugh with poetic fuck-a-ree
poor old dumbass Huckabee the wanna-be.

Too much fun, I could do this all day. Bring on the investigation, GOP! Let's see exactly how much and when Nancy knew about the Bush administration's ordering of torture. Wheeee! I could probably get a chapbook out of all the poems it would inspire.


Lulu LaBonne said...

You're way better than Mike.

Prunella Jones said...

A deep curtsy to you good madame.

Love that new avatar!

Eric said...

Politicians and poetry always seems like a bad idea...

Mr. Condescending said...

I didn't know we had a poet laureate here!

I especially liked the 'bible thumper' line!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Pru, that's talent babe!

Phil Bennett said...

Hahaha...too funny. If you could only be like Mike, you'd suck too.



Dr Zibbs said...

I'm going to write one of these on a bathroom stall door.

diane said...

Are there any poetry readings or coffee houses around you? My god, they would loooove you!

Fancy Schmancy said...

are you allowed to say doucebag and bible in the same poem?

Prunella Jones said...

Well, considering that so many douchebags love to thump their biblesI think it's pretty much a necessity.

Plus, blasphemy is fun!

xl said...

go fuck-a-thee(self)

jeremy said...

you sure that "leaker" comment wasn't a come on?

Krissyface said...

I thought maybe he was talking about her teeny bladder.

fashion herald said...

it's a tough choice, but i think Hey Ho is my favorite.

John Smith said...

I'm disappointed that you didn't rhyme huckabee with applebee's. That would ahve been a great place for rush limbaugh to die.