Monday, July 02, 2007

Lock Up Your Daughters, America!



Bill O'Reily is so insane. Although it shames me to turn the channel over to the Fox Network, I do occasionally watch his show for the LOLs. In this clip he is worrying about the lesbian gangs that are apparently rampaging through our cities, beating and robbing hapless men and turning our children into raging homosexuals. They are rumored to carry pink pistols. BEWARE!

This sounds like the plot of a John Waters movie. He should really consider it for his next film. It could be called "Dykes Taking Over" and the plot could involve the stylish chicks terrorizing some misogynistic, Islamic extremist terrorists. If only Divine were still alive to star in it, as the leader of the DTO's. Although, now that I think about it, a bald headed Britney does resemble Divine. I think it could be an amazing star turn for her.


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"Let's kill all the men, y'all!"

Wow, just think of the killer soundtrack this movie could have. Lots of great "angry woman" songs from Alanis Morrisette, a little "girl power" from The Spice Girls, and some Lilith Fair stuff.

Yes, this is the movie I'd like to see. Not Spiderman 4. Not Shrek 12. Not Die Hard with a Colostomy Bag. I wish those lesbian gangs would go beat the shit out of whoever greenlighted all of these boring films.

20 comments:

T-girl said...

I want to stand up and commend you, you have truly out done yourself! I can't stand the man, he is so rediculously stupid I can not believe he is actually on and people watch him... althouhg I am ashamed to admit that my mother is a fan. LOL

T-girl said...

OMG, I had to come back, I actually watched that! HOW are people suppose to take that seriously, HOW does ANYONE report that with a straight face AND if this is SUCH a problem ALL over the country... why have I not heard of it before! Ok, fine if it is true it is just jacked but honestly, it might be one of the funniest "crime sprees" I have ever heard!

LA said...

Any Joan Jett of Lita Ford on that soundtrack?

LA said...

T-girl is right on target. I have to call bullshit on this story. It sounds more like Bill O'Reilly was having another one of his fantasies than a legitimate news story. Of course, FOX is famous for inventing its own news. Anything to push their demented world view on the sheep who eat that shit up.

LA said...

Joan Jett or Lita Ford, not of. Sheesh.

Diane said...

Ignorant pricks . . .

BTW - in I'm with the Band, Pamela des Barres talks about her "gang" of groupies that were known as GTO - which stood for Girls Together Outrageously

BTW2 - is it wrong that I hate the right wing idiots in this country?

Prunella Jones said...

T- I know! I couldn't believe my ears. I kept thinking that it had to be a joke. I love the thought that somewhere in America, people are cowering in their beds at the thought of lesbian gangs on the loose. Damn, that's a knee slapper. Thanks Bill.

LA- Joan and Lita would be kickass on the soundtrack. Also Sinead O'Connor would be a must.

I agree that Bill and co. probably made this one up. I bet he was watching the movie "Chained Heat" when he came up with the idea. Ewwww you just know it got him all hot and bothered.

Diane- was Pamela also one of the plaster caster girls? I need to read that book.

I don't hate the right wing idiots, I just tend to feel better when they aren't around.

Okay, I'm lying. I do hate them.

GetFlix said...

I may have to go undercover, and learn more about these lesbian gangs.

Prunella Jones said...

Well GF, since I happen to belong to a lesbian gang, I'll be happy to fill you in. After a long hard day of robbing banks and karate kicking penises, we like to unwind by hanging out in our bras and panties, oiling each other's bodies, and wrestling. Sometimes we catch a man peeping at us, so we tie him up and punish him severely with our collection of black leather whips and chains. Really it's nothing you'd be interested in.

prettykitty said...

okay, am i the only one here that's really frightened about this epidemic? i don't want to be the person spotlighted on an o'reilly segment and have to admit that i was pistol whipped with a pink gun. and considering my luck in the romance department lately, karate kicking penises may just be thing that lures me into a life of crime with these dykes.

ffleur said...

Pete, Nigel and Lew need to go beat up Bill O'Reilly. Of course, Bill would probably fookin' enjoy it.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Britney - "Let's go kill all the men, ya'll - except for the redneck trashy ones...I kind of have a soft spot for them"

Prunella Jones said...

Pk- yes PK, come join us. Everybody is doing it. You know you want to. Come over to the dark side....we have cookies!

Prunella Jones said...

Ffleur- I remember hearing something about Bill being sued by one of his coworkers for sexual harrasment. I think she said something about how he likes it kinky. I can easily picture him dressed in a girdle and heels, crawling on the floor and licking the shoes of his mistress. Good God, that's a horrible vision this early in the morning! I need more coffee.

Brenda- as you know I have a soft spot for Kevin as well. We'll kill all the men except for him. He'd be the perfect man to keep alive. He is so fertile he could impregnate all of us, thus assuring a continuence of the human race. Unfortunately our progeny will most likely be weasle-faced and somewhat slow. Oh well, what are ya gonna do?

Sudiegirl said...

Hey...I love that comparison of Britney and Divine. But would she even know who Divine IS?

BTW, my cat Chelmsford has created his own meme and has tagged you for it! Come visit to see details.

Gwen said...

*sigh*

The worst part of this whole pile of nonsense is that this Rod Wheeler person, who did the *ahem* research for O'Reilly actually combined three totally separate and utterly unrelated topics to create this single report:
- The existence of actual lesbian "gangs", such as DTO in a middle school in Philadelphia, which primarily acts by standing up to the straight people who used to harass them and beat them up. Now, of course, straight kids are all upset because the gay girls are SO MEAN to them...
- A report in the National Observer that a couple of gun manufacturers are producing pink-colored guns, in an attempt to market them to women. It's pretty lame, because the guns are butt-ugly. They're actually more useful to hunters, because deer can't see the color, but they stand out to other hunters.
- There really is a GLBT self-defense group in many major cities called the Pink Pistols, but they are utterly law-abiding, and aren't just lesbians. And they're pretty ticked off that they've been confused with gangs committing crimes by these jokers.

Radar Magazine cornered Rod Wheeler and got him to admit his connection between these gangs and the Pink Pistols organization was a mistake, and he apologized, but he has yet to do it on the air. The Pink Pistols think he should, since that's where he made his mistake.

---Gwen

GetFlix said...

I knew it!! And I bet you all look hot, too!!

Prunella Jones said...

Sudie- Britney should take a long look at pictures of Divine. That is sooo her future.

A meme? Uh-oh.

Gwen- thank you for explaining things. Now it makes a little more sense. The Pink Pistols sound pretty cool, I don't blame them for being ticked off. I'd like to see that dork apologize on air too (tho it will never happen).

GF- well, naturally.

morbid misanthrope said...

As a fierce right-winger, I feel it is my duty to say that Bill does not speak for me or many other right-wingers. He's not nearly conservative enough, and he's kind of a pud. He smells like Irish whiskey, when everyone knows good conservatives drink scotch.

Prunella Jones said...

Morbid- scotch smells and tastes just like gasoline. I prefer wine since I'm more of a hippy, tree-hugging, liberal. I do agree with you about Bill being a pud though. Cheers!