Thursday, May 24, 2007

Exclusive Interview with Britney's Hairdresser

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Beautiful pop princess Britney Spears is as well known for her constantly changing hair looks as she is for her music. Unafraid to experiment, she has sported several different colors and lengths, often on the same day. So how did the "Toxic" singer achieve such luscious locks mere months after shaving her head? I sat down with Carleen Sue Washington the woman responsible for Brit's new sultry blonde bombshell look, to find out.


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So Carleen, tell us a little about yourself. How long have you been a hairdresser?

Well I reckon I been doing hair for about twenty sum years now. I've always been good at fixin my ownself up, so after my second husband went to jail and I was left to raise up my son Winston Salem Junior all alone, I decided to make myself some money doing what I was best at. Course I don't have a license or nothin. They want you to go to school for that. Which is silly in my opinion. I'm already an eighth grade graduate! No, I do hair right here in my kitchen. My clients love it cause I don't mind frying them up some liver and onions for lunch while I'm perming their hair.

What's it like to work with Britney?

Why Britney is just the sweetest thing in the world! I don't know why people want to be so mean to her and say she's a drug addict. Who hasn't done a little meth here and there? Just cause she's a mama don't mean she cain't have no fun.

Right after she shaved her hair off she called me up a crying. She said, "Oh Lord, Carleen Sue, I done shaved my hair off and everyone's a laughin at me." And said to her, I said, "Britney honey, don't you worry about a thing. You just keep a wig on your head for a bit. Ain't nobody will even notice. And once you git about two inches of fuzz, I'll bleach your scalp and tie you up some extensions and you'll be gooder than ever!" And she was so dadgum relieved to hear that.


For the fans of this new look, how much will these Britney style extensions cost them? Are they very expensive?

Well yes, they are pretty expensive. They will run you about forty dollars. But that's only because they are 100% barbie doll hair. I always say you gotta pay for quality. Britney understands that.


Thank you for speaking with us, Carleen. Where is your home business located?

I'm right off the 91 Freeway at the Budget RV in Rubidoux. Trailer number six. Cain't miss it. My son is usually playin his banjo on the front steps.

16 comments:

Diane said...

OMG!!!! that is hilarious. Oh, and sadly true

brendalove@gmail.com said...

"Who hasn't done a little meth here and there? Just cause she's a mama don't mean she cain't have no fun."

LOL! I almost couldn't finish reading for laughing.

morbid misanthrope said...

Wow, it's nice to see ol' Carleen is doing so well for herself. When I was a lad of 17, I needed a lot of spray glue for college art projects. That was around the time the government made all intoxicating glues for sale to people 18 and up only. I used to buy spray glue from her because it was cheap and she didn't check ID. She and her son would always huff-test the glue before she sold it to me to make sure it was "workin' mighty potent like." You just don't get that kind of customer service at the chain stores.

LA said...

Holy shit, Pru, that was goddamn fucking funny!

I love that the trailer is right
off the 91. Oh, snap!

I have to admit, though, it kind of scares me how well you write the "hick talk."

Frannie Farmer said...

Are you sure she isn't Kevin's cousin? I see a striking resemblance! And what w/the trailer, panjo and barely there mustache and all, they must be related.

GetFlix said...

Forget fiction, Pru. You're a natural journalist!!

We need a follow-up interview with Winston Salem Jr.!!

Sudiegirl said...

oh my...oh oh my...

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Carleen is the new Rachel Zoe!

T-girl said...

Oh, Poor Carleen Sue! I have to say, that may have been the funniest thing I read in a really long time!!!!

Scottsdale Girl said...

You always make it worth the wait babe.

Captain Smack said...

She worked on my hair once. She may not be the prettiest princess in the trailer park, but she gives great mullet.

Prunella Jones said...

Thanks for the comments guys. I've had a long hideous day of dealing with people I hate to deal with. My jaw aches from all the fake smiling and pretending to be a normal, non demented person. It wears me out!

Carleen Sue is doing well. Though Britney didn't tip her, she did leave behind a half-finished venti Mocachino, two cigarette butts, and one of baby Sean Preston's poopy diapers. Carleen put these items on Ebay and the last I heard the bidding was up to $500,000.

Winston Salem Junior also stands to make a lot of money. He recently paid of a visit to the train tracks in Riverside where his idol, local celebrity El Duce, was run over in 1997. (El Duce was the lead singer for The Mentors who claimed that Courtney Love offered him $50,000 to kill Kurt) While sitting by the tracks brooding over his conspiracy theories and drinking Budweiser, Winston passed out and was run over by the very same train that killed his hero. Luckily Winston only lost three toes. Since he had six to start with, it's not such a big deal. He is now suing the railroad for an enormous sum. It looks like both mother and son are indeed moving on up.

MJ said...

I can't imagine you acting normal and non-demented. What a strain. I know how hard that can be. I'm so glad you have this blog to show us your real fab self.

Prunella Jones said...

Thanks luv

PixieGaf said...

LOL you kill me Pru!

Ms Smack said...

ha, you're hilarious