Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Ballad of Lil' Stripeyhead

I'm watching you.

Let me tell you a tale that begins right here
in a house in Tennessee
about a plucky, scruffy, tiny cat
by the name of Lil' Stripeyhead Lee
and this kitten she lived with no other thought
than to eat Friskies and scratch at her fleas.

Till the day that my mother decided to come
to my house in Tennessee
and bring with her a cat who is hideously fat
and bad tempered to the highest degree.
This cat's name is Mae and she's older than dirt
and therefore not terribly pleased
to make the aquaintance of another feline
especially one covered in fleas.

Stripey was thrilled, from the first, to meet Mae
and she sniffed her new friend with glee
"I love you, let's play!" she seemed to say
while sharing her Chicken of the Sea.
But day after day, refusing to play
the old cat would smack her and flee.
Yes, day after day, the old biddy named Mae
rejected these friendly pleas.
Hissing and pissing on Stripeyhead Lee.

But this little furball, for one so small
is determined to a remarkable degree.
And she will not rest till she succeeds in her quest
to make Mae her playmate it seems.
"Love me!" she cried, "I will not be denied!
Quit trying to run off and flee.
From my love you will never be free!"
Sniffed Mae, "Get away from me."

Now a day won't go by that I don't hear a cry
from the frustrated Stripeyhead Lee.
And the sun never beams without bringing me screams
from the pissed off Stripeyhead Lee.
And as much as she's tried, Mae just cannot hide
from this kitten, this kitten she must live beside,
in a house in Tennessee
with this stalker named Stripeyhead Lee.

Love me, bitch!"



Mister Underhill said...

Just the good ole boys. Never meanin no harm. Makin their way, the only way they know how. But that's just a little bit more than the law will allow.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I love songs and pictures of kitties... yes siree

Prunella Jones said...

Mister U- are you comparing my cats to Bo and Luke Duke? I don't see it. Altho Mae Mae is a bit like Boss Hogg I suppose.

Ron- that means you, sir, are obviously a man of fine taste, as well as gentleman and a scholar.

xl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mister Underhill said...

xl - who are you, oh strange commentor with no blog posts?

xl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Diane said...

They are adorable! Too bad Hanna chases kitties

WendyB said...

I loves the kittehs.

GetFlix said...

Perhaps if you sat each of these two pussies side by side, and stroked them, while speaking softly, they could come together.

Otherwise, expect this cat fight to continue.

morbid misanthrope said...

I read that if you put two cats in a garbage bag full of enraged bees and old carpet staples and throw the bag down some stairs, the two cats will be best friends when they're released from the bag. I think it's reverse psychology for felines or something. I suggest you give it a shot.

BUMBLE!!! said...

That middle picture makes him look like he's ready to sit on babies' faces till they suffocate.

Are you sure he's not straight out of Pet Cemetery?!!

Scottsdale Girl said...

Oh holy hell I am so missing you...that was hilarious.

If you didn't know, I went private but will gladly accept you into the cult, er fold, er club? whatever, sorry to make ya register...but I had to

Prunella Jones said...

XL- where did you go? Come back! I promise I'll keep Mister Underhill off your back.

Mister U- quit chasing people off, you little brat. I'm going to have to punish you with the choke chain tonight!

Diane- they are so unafraid of dogs. My dog Shirley thinks she is a cat so they have learned to ignore her.

Wendy B- I likes them more than cheezburgers.

GF- good advice but at this point it would probably be easier to get the Israelis and Arabs together.

Morbid- I'll keep that in mind. There might be some carpet staples around here somewhere and it's almost bee season. I don't know though, for some reason it reminds me of my grandpa's solution to cat problems, which consisted of a sack and a river. But then Grandpa wasn't much for psychology.

Bumble- luckily there aren't any babies at my house so I won't be finding that out. Perhaps Stripey is a tad posessed by demons. Sometimes her head does turn all the way around while laughing maniacally and she spits a grody pea soup looking substance. Only after she's been hitting the cat nip particularly hard though.

SG- ah, so that's what happened! Whenever I clicked over it would say Blogger cannot find and I thought maybe you'd quit blogging. Glad to hear that's not the case. I'll register today.

xl said...

Thank you Ms Pru.

Mister Underhill said...

I'll just stick to waiting for you outside the boobie barn as my form of stalking.

marky said...

i like the kitties.

LA said...

I feel bad kinda bad both of them. Hope they find a happy truce.