I apologize for the lack of blogging this week. Believe me, it's not because I didn't want to or was too busy. No, it's because I just realized something terrible. I am utterly and completely addicted to Adderall.
If you've never heard of Adderall, it's a medication commonly prescribed for ADD. It works great, but it is super addictive. I never knew how much until I recently tried to quit cold turkey. I've been sitting here at my desk all week, just sort of rocking back and forth and occasionally wiping the drool off my chin. It was exceptionally brutal as I had also sworn off caffeine. I guess I shouldn't have tried to quit all my vices at once. I just got carried away, what with my recent conversion to raw veganism and yoga and all.
Maybe I'll go to a NA meeting this weekend. I bet I'd meet some celebrities. And it would be good to let the real me hang out. I can just imagine how it would go:
ME - "Hello, my name is Pru and I'm an Adderall addict. I'm also addicted to smoking oregano-like substances, occasionally snorting Wellbutrin, shoplifting, telling fibs, snooping in people's medicine cabinets, washing my hands, gossiping, and creating mayhem. Oh and I'm a total hypochondriac and sometime agoraphobe."
NA CROWD - "Hi Pru."
Ugh, that sounds boring. I hate meetings. Never mind, I just won't quit. Now that I think about it, I've probably already killed off 80% of my brain cells. I need the Adderall to kick the remaining cells in the ass and get them to work.
I'm still feeling slow, so I think I will just do this meme that Mister Underhill tagged me with last week.
Elaborate on the Following:
Accent - I don't have an accent, y'all.
I Don't Drink - because when I do, I start peeling off my clothes and wearing a lampshade on my head. Actually that is a total lie. I do drink plenty.
Chore I Hate - earning money. Man, I hate that! Maybe that's why I'm so unsuccessful at doing it.
Pets - one stoned monkey named Tucksworth, a lovable but intelligence challenged beagle named Shirley, various other animals that don't seem to live as long.
Essential Electronic - a Wii. I must have it! Will someone please buy one for me?
Perfume/Cologne - when I adhere to raw veganism, my sweat smells really fresh and good, like a nice crisp apple still wet with morning dew. I should bottle and sell it, as it is better than any of that $50 stank water that JLO puts out. Also perfume makes me sneeze.
Gold or Silver? - being a hippie, I prefer groovy natural gemstones like Moss Agate and Tigers Eye. They help balance my chalkras, and those damn things need balancing.
Most Admired Trait- I like people who are smart and verbally quick. There are a few bloggers out there whom I worship like rock stars for their twisted imaginations and ability to make the perfect comment.
Kids- one half alien baby, now being raised by Scientologists. His name is Ozzie Danzig. (sniff) Please don't ask me about it.
Religion- no thanks.
Siblings- yes, I am the youngest of 13 children. My mom didn't even know she was pregnant when I entered the world. She thought/hoped her uterus had fallen out, but it was me instead.
Here are the names of my siblings in no particular order:
Time I Wake Up - when Tucksworth slaps me across the face and screeches. God, that monkey is such a little bitch.
Unusual Talent/Skill - I'm exceptionally good at lying. It may be my one true talent.
Vegetable I Refuse to Eat - being vegan means I pretty much need to eat them all or risk starving to death. Besides, I like veggies.
Worst Habit - being superficial. Also, the inability to spell/use grammar.
X-Rays - tons. I've been abducted by Xenu several times after all. But I much prefer the x-rays to the anal probe.
My Favorite Meal - whatever is on your plate. It always looks better than whatever I ordered. Can I have a bite?
If you have ever been addicted to any substance you are hereby tagged with this meme. And if you've never been addicted to anything, you're tagged too (cause I hate you).