Saturday, January 31, 2009

Help!


If you are looking for Prunella Jones then I'm sorry to tell you that it is too late. I just attacked and ate her brain minutes after she finished painting me. It was tasty, although a little on the small side. More of a snack then a meal I'd say. Well, let this be a lesson to you, kids. Never try to zombify your garden gnomes because you never know what might happen......do you? (cue demented laughter)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sorry to be so quiet lately, I'm feeling a little run down. It's so cold and wet here and depressing. And I've been really busy. I spent the past week trying to get my tax stuff together (always a nightmare for someone as unorganized as myself) and turning all three Jonas Brothers into men. Now I'm just plum tuckered out.


me and the jonas bros



The last pic you will ever see of the boys with their "purity" rings on. Heh heh.

Maybe I need some more vitamins or something?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hottest New Looks for 2009

Fashion forecast for 2009? Sizzling hawt! Today Gossip Girl Blake Lively shows off the newest trends.



obama-chic




Hope and Change are in the air and they're wildly flattering! Obama Chic can turn a boring black outfit positively presidential. These are accessories you can believe in.

Barock-n-roll hat, $218. Obama vodka $20.




walmart chic




Here's a question. Do you assume that recession = style depression? That's a misimpression that needs a quick correction! Just add a geometric progression to your custom configuration and create a new obsession with your gorgeous dress expression!

Did that sentence make sense? Of course not. So why should your clothes? Duh.

Kitschy Walmart belt $861. Hypnotic dress by You Are Getting Sleepier $9,027.99.




fashion


Hey, hey! Who doesn't love a clown? Well, except for those people who find them terrifying, of course. But who cares about them? They are probably ugly anyway. And poor. Bright, fun clown elegance will have the world pointing and laughing this Spring.

"Demented" eyeglasses $679. Rainbow wig $1,012.




sleestack chic




Hsssssssss. Cha-Ka like! You don't need to fall through a time doorway to know that a spicy Sleestack mask will add a dash of urban sophistication to the most boring formal bathing suit.

Bathing suit $912. Sleestack mask by Enik, price given by request.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hey Mr. President!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

What a great day!






I have to admit, I really enjoyed seeing this.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Stars: What Are They Really Like?

A rare glimpse into the private lives of Victoria and David Beckham. Check it out.



beans




"Ugh, my stomach! Why did I eat all those beans? I should quit watching wrestling because I simply can't enjoy Smackdown without a big pot of yummy beanie goodness. Or four. Blimey, the Beano is doing nothing for this horrible gas.....oh, oh......BEEEEEEELCH....ahhh much better."




beans


"Oh dear, I suppose I'd better tidy up a bit. David will be home soon. God, this room smells like ass! Whew, whatever did I do with the Lysol?"




yum




"Ahhh so lovely to be at home in my own comfy bed. Now, Mr. Woogims and I can relax and watch Gossip Girl and ....(sniff, sniff).....oh my, it smells like Vicki has been at the beans again. Oh, I hope she saved me some! Vicki! Vicki darling, have we any beans left?"



Wow. Who would have thought the Beckham's would be so obsessed with beans? I never would have guessed, would you?

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Course Of True Love Etc....Part 2

God, it takes me forever to get anything done, I swear! Why am I so lame? (sigh)

Anyway, back to the story...

Free Smileys

So, yeah, after feeling a tap on my shoulder I turned to find the hot guy standing there smiling at me. He was even hotter up close.

Free Smileys

He was so beautiful, so pale and perfect. His dazzling face was friendly, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes were careful. "Hi," he said.



Free Smileys

"How's it going," I answered, trying to be cool but probably not succeeding.

We started to chat, and I was even more impressed. He was smart and funny. You know what a sucker I am for funny. He was enchanting. Yeah, I was all into him.



Free Smileys

Mama liked! Very much!


Free Smileys

We spent the next few hours talking and laughing over a couple of drinks.

Free Smileys


Free Smileys

Then we danced and I was amazed at how graceful and rhythmic he was despite being a white guy. He could really shake that perfect booty!


Free Smileys

And he was enormously, almost inhumanly strong! I was nearly killed when - in a freak accident - the bartender knocked over a keg of beer and it came rolling towards me. I saw it as it was happening but before I could even react, two long white hands shot out protectively in front of me and prevented the keg from smashing into my shin.

Free Smileys

"You saved my life!" I said. "Or at least my kneecap. Thank you!"

Free Smileys

And then I kissed him.


Free Smileys

And things got heavy.



Free Smileys

Until he suddenly pushed me away with a pained look. "I shouldn't do this. You really should stay away from me," he said.

"What...why?" I asked.

"It's just....it's not safe," he groaned.

Free Smileys

"I like you too much to put your life in jeopardy. And unfortunately it would be if you and I were together."


Free Smileys

At first I was confused.

Free Smileys

And a bit annoyed.


Free Smileys

But then I started thinking about it and I realized what was going on. His enormous strength, his extreme beauty, and his reluctance to get it on with me all added up to one thing.

"You're a vampire, aren't you?" I said.

Free Smileys

"What?" he looked surprised.

"It's okay," I told him. "You don't have to worry. Go ahead and bite me. I don't mind becoming a vampire, in fact I'd welcome it. I wouldn't have to work anymore and getting to stay young and cute for eternity would be great. Also I'm a night person anyway. So yeah, I'm ready. Let's do this thing."

Free Smileys

I was all excited. I mean, shit, who wouldn't want to be a vampire? The only downer would be the drinking blood part, but really in my mind the benefits outweigh the negatives.

Free Smileys

He gave me a surprised look.

Free Smileys

Then sadly shook his head. "Ummm....no Pru, that's not it. I wish it was. that would be cool. No, ummm....the trouble is that my ex-girlfriend is a psycho. She stalks me all the time and as soon as I try to get with someone new she turns violent."

Then before I could figure out what to make of that, he gave a gasp of dismay.




"Oh shit."

Free Smileys

"Fuck, there she is! Run Prunella run!"

Well, when someone tells me to run I don't hesitate. I took off like a flash but tripped over my four inch heels. When I looked up I saw this in front of me.




And the next thing I knew, I was flying forward into a wall.





Dammit, it really sucked. Why can't I meet a nice vampire to take me away from all this?

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Course Of True Love Never Did Run Smooth

God, this weekend was so surreal. Something happened. I want to tell you about it but I don't even know how to begin to describe it properly, so I'll just let these emoticons help me out.


Okay, so Friday night I went to the club with some friends.

angel smileys

You know how I like the nightlife. I love to boogie. So I was shaking my moneymaker when I saw him.

scuba diving locations

The hottest dude I have ever laid eyes on. Naturally he was a musician.

Free Smileys


Hubba hubba! My heart began to pound. I was immediately captivated.
love smileys


Our eyes met across the crowded room. At first he stared at me in a cool, almost appraising way.

Free Smileys

Which flustered me a bit.

Free Smileys

But he kept staring at me as though he couldn't stop himself.
Free Smileys

So I decided to give him a little winky-poo to - you know - get things started.

Free Smileys


To my surprise this seemed to make him angry. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face - it was hostile, furious. And then he rushed past me out of the room.
Free Smileys



I was all WTF?

Free Smileys


It kinda bummed me out.

Free Smileys

But not for long. I decided to forget about it and have fun. And I did.

Free Smileys

scared smileys

Free Smileys

A little while later, I was grooving to the music when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

animated smileys


I whirled around to find him standing there - a slight smile on his gorgeous lips.

Free Smileys

"Hello," he said in a low musical voice.



To Be Continued....