God, it takes me forever to get anything done, I swear! Why am I so lame? (sigh)
Anyway, back to the story...
So, yeah, after feeling a tap on my shoulder I turned to find the hot guy standing there smiling at me. He was even hotter up close.
He was so beautiful, so pale and perfect. His dazzling face was friendly, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes were careful. "Hi," he said.
"How's it going," I answered, trying to be cool but probably not succeeding.
We started to chat, and I was even more impressed. He was smart and funny. You know what a sucker I am for funny. He was enchanting. Yeah, I was all into him.
Mama liked! Very much!
We spent the next few hours talking and laughing over a couple of drinks.
Then we danced and I was amazed at how graceful and rhythmic he was despite being a white guy. He could really shake that perfect booty!
And he was enormously, almost inhumanly strong! I was nearly killed when - in a freak accident - the bartender knocked over a keg of beer and it came rolling towards me. I saw it as it was happening but before I could even react, two long white hands shot out protectively in front of me and prevented the keg from smashing into my shin.
"You saved my life!" I said. "Or at least my kneecap. Thank you!"
And then I kissed him.
And things got heavy.
Until he suddenly pushed me away with a pained look. "I shouldn't do this. You really should stay away from me," he said.
"What...why?" I asked.
"It's just....it's not safe," he groaned.
"I like you too much to put your life in jeopardy. And unfortunately it would be if you and I were together."
At first I was confused.
And a bit annoyed.
But then I started thinking about it and I realized what was going on. His enormous strength, his extreme beauty, and his reluctance to get it on with me all added up to one thing.
"You're a vampire, aren't you?" I said.
"What?" he looked surprised.
"It's okay," I told him. "You don't have to worry. Go ahead and bite me. I don't mind becoming a vampire, in fact I'd welcome it. I wouldn't have to work anymore and getting to stay young and cute for eternity would be great. Also I'm a night person anyway. So yeah, I'm ready. Let's do this thing."
I was all excited. I mean, shit, who wouldn't want to be a vampire? The only downer would be the drinking blood part, but really in my mind the benefits outweigh the negatives.
He gave me a surprised look.
Then sadly shook his head. "Ummm....no Pru, that's not it. I wish it was. that would be cool. No, ummm....the trouble is that my ex-girlfriend is a psycho. She stalks me all the time and as soon as I try to get with someone new she turns violent."
Then before I could figure out what to make of that, he gave a gasp of dismay.
"Fuck, there she is! Run Prunella run!"
Well, when someone tells me to run I don't hesitate. I took off like a flash but tripped over my four inch heels. When I looked up I saw this in front of me.
And the next thing I knew, I was flying forward into a wall.
Dammit, it really sucked. Why can't I meet a nice vampire to take me away from all this?