Wednesday, January 02, 2008

How I Started Out 2008 by Prunella Jones

2:00 P.M.

Ugh, morning everybody. It's a bright and shiny new year, isn't it? One of my resolutions was to start getting up earlier, and spend no more than one hour sitting around in my underwear, scratching myself and staring into space. Looks like I'm off to a great start!

3:15 P.M.

Mmmmm this watermelon is good. Not quite as tasty as a pop tart and a giant coffee from Starbucks of course, but healthy. I vow to be a much healthier Prunella this year. That means I'm going to stick to my vegan diet, exercise, quit drinking, and only snort Adderall once a week. Well, no more than twice a week. Okay, okay, three times a week but that's all!

5:30 P.M.

Time to do some chores. I hate having to line dry my silky underthings, but I've learned the hard way that you just can't throw $400 panties in the dryer. (sigh) Tucksworth, quit screaming in my ear. That guy with the binoculars peeking over the fence is just our neighbor Frank. Hi, Frank!

8:00 P.M

There is nothing more fun than driving around town in my hot little car. Weeeee! Too bad it's so cold today. Brrrr!

9:45 P.M

Now Tucksworth, behave yourself in this hipster coffee shop. No hooting, screaming, biting, or poo flinging, please! And back off this banana, it's mine. I ordered you a plate of chilli cheese fries and a Dr. Pepper. I know you have the munchies, but just chill out till it gets here.

2:00 A.M.

Early to bed and early to rise, keeps a girl from having cellulite on her thighs, right? Something like that anyway. I'll just do a bit of yoga first. I have to keep my back limber so it won't go out on me again. This posture is called "the bridge to paradise." I either learned it from the new Carmen Electra workout video or the Kama Sutra, I forget which.

Happy New Year!


Ms Smack said...

They are some fantastic shots. Happy New year, mate

BUMBLE!!! said...

You're definitely going for the guy friendly shots there.

That said, we could all use a monkey in our lives.

GetFlix said...

That watermelon looks tasty.

Princess of the Universe said...

Hey I just got the Carmen Electra DVDs- I can't wait till I learn that move!:)

Nocturnal said...

There's something very Terri Nunn about those pix.

Belated HNY and here via BB.


Mister Underhill said...

I hope you are happy with the pill crusher I sent you for xmas.

Carmen Electra video...Kama Sutra. Is there a differnce, really?

Prunella Jones said...

Ms Smack- yes, Tucksworth is really looking quite fetching, isn't he?

Bumble- just for you, sir.

GF- it's that sexy lycopene I guess.

Princess- all of her stuff is great workout for the pelvis area.

Nocturnal- good call. I see it.

Mister U- the pill crusher is everything I ever wanted! You spoil me so, you do!

honkeie2 said...

If you can bend like that I can show you my new chin strapon woman pleaser toy I got from Satan claws!

OneHungMan said...

Great...once again, OHM has to excuse himself and lock his office door after visiting your blog.

Thanks Pru. said...

I am honoring my resolutions but I really miss staring into space and scratching myself in the mornings.

Diane said...

Nice list of resolutions, but don't be too hard on yourself if you can't meet this exceptionally high bar . . .

LA said...

You're warming up for the limbo in that last shot, right pru?

M-M-M-Mishy said...

You lead a difficult life, Prunella. Hopefully you can take it down a notch in 2008. Really begin to relax.

How's cousin Britinia doing these days?

marky said...

Don't shoot me. I like these pics, especially the last one. All the best to you for 2008. May all your wishes come true.

BottleBlonde said...

The bridge to paradise? For a second there I thought you were referring to my vagina. How funny, right? We all know my vagina is just the dirt road to hell. said...

Pru - you have won an award. Please see my blog.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I'm here from Brenda's site, how did I not find your site earlier?

Rebecca said...

I'm here from Brenda's site and I just wanted to say: Ah-ha!! I knew Ron would make it here!
Congratulations on winning an award by the way.

Memphis Steve said...

You have the most fascinating life! I need to move in with you so I can watch this life and in person.

Prunella Jones said...

Ugh, I hope everyone's new year started out better than mine. I had a flat tire on my car the other night and had to buy two new tires plus get other work done. Looks like it will be a new year full of debt as usual.

Thanks for the award, Bren!

Sudiegirl said...

Damn you're limber.

If I did that, I'd have to call 911, but by then I'd probably be dead so Chelmsford would have to do it except he's afraid of phones and ambulances.

stupid cat

morbid misanthrope said...

Here's some interesting information:

The oracle my Middle-Eastern landlady keeps locked up in the tool shed behind the apartment building (just underneath the creepy-looking dead tree that sometimes weeps bloody tears) predicted this year was really going to suck. Of course, you'd expect a midget covered in tumors tied to an old tire full of concrete in a smelly shed to be overly negative, so I wouldn't worry about her predictions too much.

Prunella Jones said...

Sudie- get rid of that scardy cat and get a monkey.

Morb- wow, the oracle I regularly visit is a midget too. Do you think lack of height gives one special psychic abilities. Or maybe it's the lobster claw hands? Anyway, mine said that this year would mostly suck but that a few days would merely blow. I guess she is more optimistic since the shed she lives in smells like Pledge, and she is covered in magical warts that get you high if you lick them. Not that I would know of course. I stick to weed, licking warts is for poor people.

Phil Bennett said...

Okay...I have wasted enough time looking for your other nudie pics. Must go back to work...haha