Three Things I Wish I Had
1. A big pot of leprechuan gold
2. The power to make my eyes bug out of my head at will.
3. A brain. Sometimes I suspect that I only have a brain stem.
Three Possible Causes of the Stains on my Carpet
1. Dog pee
3. Blood, maybe? WTF?
Three Reasons I Can't Go Back to Bed, Even Though I'd Like To
1. My moron neighbor is outside playing with his chainsaw again.
2. I've had three cups of coffee.
3. Sleep is for sissies. The wicked don't need to rest.