Monday, February 09, 2009

My Two Cents

So many things in the news pissing me off lately. Grrrr. Where to start?

The Stimulus Plan- Look, I am basically for this thing. Something obviously needs to be done and if we're going to borrow money, I'd much rather it be spent on our infrastructure than thrown down the sucking black hole of Iraq (end this shit now!). However, I'm still pissed as hell about the bank bailout. All that money given to the very people who caused this mess with no oversight whatsoever and they use it to give out bonuses and buy jets? Fuck them!

Why couldn't that money have been used to fund a national debt forgiveness program? They could've started with paying off every college loan in the country. BOOM right away you'd give people a little more money in their pockets to buy things with to stimulate the economy. Besides, it's ridiculous that young people just starting out in life are saddled with so much debt because of the obscenely high cost of college! (Oy, I could bitch about this all day, it makes me so furious. Yes, I do owe thousands in student loans.)

Then work on at least partial forgiveness for mortgages and credit card bills, which would ease the pressure on families and get them spending again. When you think about it, you have to wonder why we allow this bullshit to continue. I mean, thirty years to pay for a house with most of the money you pay each month going for interest? What is that if not usury? Why do the bible thumpers that run this country allow this to go on? Oh right, because money is their real god. Duh.

Anyway, if the bailout money were used this way then Americans would have some disposable income in their pockets. Then they would buy things instead of hanging on to their money. Companies would get more money and not have to lay off workers. The economy would start to stabilize, no?

Please tell me why this wouldn't work? The money all goes into the banks regardless. Why should they just get a massive check cut to them with no strings, while any sort of similar deal for the citizens is socialism? Give the money to the people so they can pay off their debts, and the banks still get it. It's a win-win situation all around. Why has this not even been considered?

Actually, if I had my way, I'd seize the personal assets of every CEO of every company involved in this whole fiasco including Wall Street and take back every bit of the bonuses they paid out over the last several years. That money alone could get a universal health care plan off to a healthy start. To fund the rest I'd seize the personal fortunes of the Bush family, Dick Cheney, and every slime bag who made millions off the cluster fuck festival that was the Iraq war.

Yeah, I am that pissed! Aren't you? I'd love to see heads rolling. Because, and this is the sad thing, I really don't think anything will change unless the people at the top are made to pay with their own personal money. That's the only way to get it through their thick heads that you don't fuck with people's livelihoods.

Michael Phelps Smoked Dope- It amazes me that with everything going on in with the economy people are outraged about this. WTF? The kid won eight gold medals, he obviously disproves the theory that potheads are unmotivated losers. The fact that marijuana is still illegal is the real crime here. Legalize it, make it as available as alcohol and cigarettes, and tax it the way they are taxed and BOOM you've got more money flowing into the economy. And you've just freed up the police to focus their resources on getting harmful drugs like meth off the streets, and put many drug cartels out of business.

Also, I find it crazy that snack companies are dropping Phelps as their spokesperson because of this. Are they high? Stoners with munchies make up a good percentage of the snack buying customer base.

Screw you Subway! Your sandwiches ain't all that great anyway. I'm more than happy to take my bidness to Blimpies.

The Octupuplets- Why are people so afraid to call this woman a loon? Because she totally is. Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that if you watch her interview with Ann Curry. I mean, she's obviously delusional. Getting her master's degree in counseling will give her the money to raise fourteen kids? Really? It pays that well, huh? And she can go back to school this year to do this with no one to help out but her poor fed up mother, who is already overwhelmed with the care of this bitch's six other kids. Really? All these children to pay for and she spends her money on lip injections? (I spy a nose job too.) Methinks someone has an Angelina Jolie fixation.

Not that there is anything wrong with plastic surgery, or even having fertility treatments for that matter. If you can afford that stuff, go for it. If you love kids and want to have fourteen of them, eight all at once, well, whatever (you're nuts) knock yourself out. Hey, if this chick could afford these babies (and their health problems), had plenty of help to care for them properly, and the endless amount of time necessary to devote to them and their six brothers and sisters, I might be less annoyed, but the fact of the matter is that she doesn't. She has serious mental issues, a probable pregnancy fixation, and while something needs to be done for these kids (adoption!) I hope she won't be given endorsement money and book and television deals for this bullshit.

I have never understood why people who have huge litters of children in one pregnancy are applauded. Eight babies at once! It's a miracle! Ummm, no it's not. It's very bad for the babies and completely selfish of the parents. If women were supposed to carry more than two babies at a time, we'd have more than two boobs. What's more, even if the parents do have insurance these kind of births cost millions and make the rest of us pay more while we get nickle and dimed for every little office visit.

I don't get the appeal of shows like Jon and Kate Plus Eight besides the freak show element. I watched the show once and thought Kate was a huge bitch, her husband a complete wimp, and the whole family very annoying. I get that they only wanted one more baby and ended up with six embryos, but they should have reduced. I'm sorry, but if you are going to use this technology, then you shouldn't be allowed to claim that God gave you a miracle so you must be allowed to keep them all. (I mean, if you are going to use that argument then you'd be forced to conclude that God must not have wanted you to have kids in the first place or you wouldn't be using fertility drugs.)

Anyway, I think to prevent these sorts of things from happening, insurance companies should make it a standard that in cases of IVF/fertility drug pregnancies they will only pay for two babies. If the parents want to keep all six, eight, twenty fetuses that take, fine, but they'll have to pay all the expenses for those children themselves. I actually can't believe the companies haven't done this sort of thing already, given how happy they are to cancel the policies of people who dare to get expensive diseases like cancer or diabetes.

And that's all I have to say about that. If you need me to solve any more of society's problems, I'll be in my room painting more zombie gnome figurines and yelling at the television set.


Lulu LaBonne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lulu LaBonne said...

Whoops, far too many spelling mistakes in the first attempt

you're clearly jolly angry,and now you've got me going...

I think 8-baby lady must've been to a dodgy doctor though - implanting so many embyros is understood to be totally unethical by any legit practitioner.

Now, before we burst blood vessels let's just sit down and breeaathe deeply, you can get out the blingee and I'll go stroke my ants

Lulu LaBonne said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Prunella Jones said...

Ah Lulu, I love you and your charming way with words. Jolly angry is such an apt description! But, just typing all that out was helpful. Guess I'm really getting old, though. Looks like I'll be yelling at kids to get off my lawn anytime now.

Krissyface said...

holy shit, It's weird b/c I am having a slow day at work and keep on watching the Ann Curry Octopussy interview on the youtube over and over and over again...what is wrong with me?!

I guess the same thing that is wrong with the rest of this country and maybe even just the human race. We love a spectacle, and this bitch is a three ring circus. She'll stay in the spotlight as long as her poufy lips keep talking smackeroo about how great it is to be a single mama with 14's always been MY dream, too! Nightmare, you mean, Angelina Jolie. And by the way, Fertile McEmbryos, Angelina has millions of dollars. You've got ... your mom's house. And maybe not even that once you get released from le hospital. Ick.

Prunella Jones said...

Krissyface - Exactly! Not to mention, now some whack job will try to have nine kids at once to get some insta fame. Hey, maybe I should do that! I already have a degree and my mom would just love to help raise nine. I know just what I'll name them: Bunny, Buffy, Boodles, Jesus, Xenu, George Bush, Rainbeau Starburst, Trig, and Oprah.

And then Ty Pennington will come build me a new house!

Bill Stankus said...

Ain't dat da truth!

A loonie pumpin' out kids like she was a clown car, Cheney with enough cash to buy several new shotgun companies, CEO's with old plated toilet paper ... and those dear cuddly Republicans, marching everyone lemming style over the cliff of econ ruin.

But Hey, the Grammys ... da hoops ... da new Detroit Iron getting 17 mpg .... and A-Rod shootin' up 'roids. Can it get any better than this?


I totally agree. The expense of a gazillion doctors etc to deliver her babies? It's an outrage when people die for lack of ONE difficult- to- schedule doctor to perform a much needed operation.
How dare these people so overtax the health care system with their 'F****ing' by- products.

That many children cannot get the adequate & individual love,time and attention that they would need and all should be auctioned off on Ebay,including the 6 siblings. Then the mother should be sown up.

Also agree all Government persons above certain rank should be stripped of their assets and hung from the closet gibet...or at the least sent to some kind of camp.
All university/colleges should be free ,but one as to prove aptitiude to get in.
Agree with LULU, we must regulate children numbers like in China.At very least, people should only be allowed the replace themselves....and some definitely not!

Joyless Prole said...

I liked the 90s, when stimulous packages involved a cigar or a rowboat oar.

xl said...

1. Legalize marijuana.
2. Give stimulus funds to Phelps.
3. Phelps sells marijuana.
4. Marijuana profits fund octupuplets reality show.
5. Show profits back to Step 2.

Oh, wait. That's the kind of thinking that got us into the economic crisis...

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I think I totally agree with you, but I must admit I became distracted when you mentioned the possibility of women having more the two boobies.... I mean wow, it boggles the mind.

Krissyface said...

I also heard that Octopussy got like 167 k in workmans comp and used that money for in vitro for the 8 new ones. Didnt give her poor mama a dime for rent or food for the 6 she already has. That's sickness.

Oh, and I guess she used it for lip injections and cheek implants.

What is the world coming to, I ask you?!?!?!

Joyless Prole said...

Prunella, I think you are like the female, liberal version of ann coulter. In a just universe you'd be one of the most famous americans of our time.

GetFlix said...

A very valuable two cents, Pru.

I would be for the TARP money if there were conditions attached. (It must be loaned or returned.)

The +8 show is entertaining. Kate is a total bitch, but let's admire her capitalist spirit.

All This Trouble... said...

Two thumbs up, Pru!

I'd give you more but I only have two thumbs.

When my husband gets home, I'll have him give you a couple, too.

Carry on.

Diane said...

A lovely rant!

me said...

Oh brilliant one-- I mean, Prunella, you have just gotten my vote for quote of the year with the following:

"If women were supposed to carry more than two babies at a time, we'd have more than two boobs."

For real, you make so much sense and I agree, agree, agree!!!!

The ladies at my office and i think the money from the stim plan should go direct to the citizens... it'd be beautiful!

mark said...

f'n right on sista!