Saturday, June 28, 2008

7 Fun Facts About Vermin

Yep, I've got bugs on the brain lately. I've been compulsively reading about them. Nothing useful though, just trivia. I love trivia. And I really love the word vermin. It's so descriptive, isn't it? One of those words that really sound like what it is. Vermin, vermin, vermin! (Particularly, if said with a German accent.)

–noun, plural ver·min.
1. noxious, objectionable, or disgusting animals collectively, esp. those of small size that appear commonly and are difficult to control, as flies, lice, bedbugs, cockroaches, mice, and rats.
2. an objectionable or obnoxious person, or such persons collectively.
3. animals that prey upon game, as coyotes or weasels.

I didn't know you could call coyotes vermin. How about that? It's good to learn something new everyday. Here are some other fun facts I didn't know about vermin:

1. Napoleon may have had scabies. (scabies - tiny mites that burow under the skin and leave behind itchy patches with oozy crusts.) Remember all those paintings of him with his hand inside his shirt? Some historians believe it was there so he could scratch himself while holding long poses for the portrait painter.

That's better than my theory that he was fondling a third nipple.

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War is the business of barbarians. And those who itch. Gosh!

2. Cockroaches are pretty amazing if you think about it. Dinosaurs were around for 130 million years. Humans only two million or so. But roaches are 350 million years old and still going strong. They will eat anything, even the sweat out of your shoes, even bits of their own or other roaches bodies! Soap, paper, paint, and even some poisons are tasty to them. They can be frozen, then thawed, and walk away completely unharmed. Roaches are the Rasputins of the insect world.

3. Did you know that male Malaysian fruit bats have boobs that can lactate to nurse their young? I bet the La Leche League would like to know about that. They should make it their mascot.

4. Living in the Middle Ages must have been a barrel of laughs. The common belief of most people back then was that the more you suffered, the greater your chances were of going to heaven. Sweet! So when people got fleas, they did nothing to get rid of them. Probably one of the reasons why so many died of plague, as it was spread by fleas.

5. Oh and get this, boy fleas have not one but two male organs. (That's a polite way of saying dicks!)

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6. A fly has bristly hair all over it's body. It's about the hairiest bug in all of insectland. This fact inspired the ancient Romans to use flies as a cure for baldness. What they would do is mash up a couple of hundred houseflies into a paste and rub it on their bald spots. Mmmm I bet that felt nice. Too bad it didn't work.

7. Rats are just as badass as cockroaches. They can fall from a five story building and land on their feet unharmed. They can climb up brick walls, jump two feet high or four feet across, swim for days on end, and squeeze through a hole the size of a quarter. These are freakin superhero powers! How come there isn't a Rat Man movie?

"Hey Granny, what do you think of my Rat MAn idea?"

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"Really Granny, there's no need to be rude!"


Warped Mind of Ron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Warped Mind of Ron said...

From all of that I'm stuck on the bug having two dicks... I mean are they fully functional? Are there little insect threesomes going on out there? I'm now changing my wish list of reincarnation creatures....

Mister Underhill said...

Superraton! Here I come to save the day!

Haven't you heard yosemite sam call coyotes vermin? Of course he calls everyone vermin.

WendyB said...

I vote for the third nip theory.

Prunella Jones said...

Ron- unfortunately I couldn't find any info on flea orgies, but I'd like to think they happen.

Mister U- I think he called people varmints. At least, that's what I remember.

Wendy- that's because you have a filthy mind, girl!


Great- love the word vermin , too.
You and Undie still going strong? :)

xl said...

I favor adding telemarketers as a separate sub-species of vermin. That is, not grouping them with those impressive boy fleas. said...

I thought vermin was a spice. A spice with lots of protein.

Prunella Jones said...

Uber- hey girl, where you been? Undie and I are married and expecting our second youngin!

XL- and add all the people who buy stuff from telemarketers, thus making it profitable enough to keep this annoyance from disappearing.

Bren- it may be in China. Don't they add rats to pretty much everything in those factories? I thought that's where Hot Pockets got it's special flavor from.

Mister Underhill said...

I was wondering why there was a piece of sausage in my peperoni hot pocket.

mr_g said...

I stick to my theory that in the unfortunate event of nuclear catastrophe, the only survivors will be the cockroach and Keith Richards...

Prunella Jones said...

Mister- I'm so glad I'm a vegetarian.

Mr. g- I'd like to see the future inhabitants of a world where Keith Richards mated with a cockroach.

LA said...

Coyotes are vermin? My high mascot was the Coyotes.