I was driving around the other day when I noticed a bumper sticker on the car in front of me. It said Be More Like Jesus. This amused me because the car also sported Bush/Cheney 04 and Don't Believe the Liberal Media! stickers. Does this person really think that Jesus would be a republican? Jesus was a hippy!
Still, I agree with the message. Everyone should try to be more like Him. He was pretty cool. But once I started thinking about it, I realized that I already am a lot like Jesus. This might sound blasphemous but it's true. I made a list. Check it out:
Ways in Which I am Like Jesus
I own a robe and sandles.
I like hanging out with sinners.
The devil is always trying to tempt me.
I'm very loving and forgiving. (Except for those people who really piss me off! They get cut!)
I drink wine a lot.
While I can't turn water into wine, I can turn wine into water. (Well, urine if you want to get technical.)
Low body fat.
A close friend once betrayed me too. Bitch slept with my boyfriend.
I may not have been born in a manger, but according to my mom I was probably conceived on some fresh hay in a barn. (She was such a little farm girl, my mother.)
My dad demanded obedience too.
I've been baptised.
I can heal lepers.
Of course, there are a few differences.
Ways In Which I Am Not Like Jesus
I don't have a beard.
I don't speak Aramaic.
I'm not a jewish carpenter.
I ain't dying for nobody's sins.