Saturday, May 31, 2008

What's Up With All These Hideous Marc Jacobs Ads?

I'm not much of a fashionista.

I hate shopping and never buy fashion magazines. Most of my clothes are from Target or the thrift store. My typical outfit consists of jeans and a tee shirt or a gauzy, hippy type top. I don't spend a lot of money on clothes.

That said, I do like to splurge occasionally on an expensive, silky dress or fabulous shoes or something girly that makes me feel pretty. Sometimes an ad for a designer will catch my eye and I will take a look at their stuff when I do shop.

Which is why I don't understand these Marc Jacobs ads starring Victoria Beckham at all. They are hideous. The clothes are butt fugly. The lighting is bad. Vicky looks like she was put into a dehydrator. Lots of times I'll be flipping through a magazine and see ads that make me go WTF? But these - well dayum - these make me think I should have gone to art school. The people who designed these clothes and styled these pictures probably make ten times more money than me and obviously artistic talent is not a requirement. Seems like a good scam to get into.

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This one was kinda cute, I guess. Fashion is supposed to be whimsical, I get it, ha ha. But the first thing that struck me was how ugly and stoopid those shoes are. Seriously, if I saw someone mincing down the street in those shoes, I'd point and laugh.

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This picture is so appalling it sent me to the thesaurus to find the right adjective to describe it. Wretched works pretty good. Beastly brown fits too. That purse looks like the one my grandma used to carry to church. The dress is just....ewww, and is that a feather duster on her head?

Posh was always my favorite Spice Girl (yeah, I liked them back in the day. What can I say, I was young!) and she seems like she has a good sense of humor about herself, but dizzam! She really must be a cool chick. If that was my picture splashed all over the internet, I'd be crying and threatening lawsuits.

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This dress reminds me of one of those crocheted doll toilet tissue covers. Is that thing on her head a question mark? How fitting. Overall she looks like an evil tooth fairy hovering in the air, ready to whip out a pair of plyers if there isn't a tooth under your pillow.

These ads are a joke, right? They've got to be.

Pros and Cons for Victoria Beckham

Pros: - ????

Cons: - Too numerous to list.

Pros and Cons for Marc Jacobs.

Pros: - Before these ads I'd never heard the guys name and knew nothing about him, so now he has name recognition.

Cons - Now I know the name of the person whose products I will never spend money on.

Attention fashion designers!!! If you want me to spend $500 for a dress or some shoes then you'd better make them pretty, by god. What's so hard about that?


WendyB said...

I actually like the last one the best! I guess a "pro" would be that it shows she has a sense of humor.


Prunella Jones said...

Hers is better than mine. I'd cut the person who made me look like that.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

OMG!! Pru... I'm wearing that dress right now and you think it's ugly??!! {Runs crying from room}

P.S. The shoes are a bit uncomfortable.

Mister Underhill said...

Pros and cons of victoria beckham:

The definitive answer to 'how to keep a moron in suspense'
Whenever I see her I always expect Randy "The Macho Man" Savage to yell "Snap into a slim jim!" and bite her head off.
At least she's not Paris Hilton

Just look at her for god's sake

Ms Smack said...

oh man, she's freakin' hideous.

Prunella Jones said...

Ron- oh, sorry, it must be the lighting in the ad that makes me think the dress is ugly. It looks nice on you though. (snicker)

Mister U- she does resemble a dehydrated beef product, possibly bacon flavored.

Ms. Smack- I'm dying to scrub the orange from her skin. said...

She's just a step above Michael Jackson in the creepy category.

Krissyface said...

Evil tooth fairy indeed. And she won't even leave you money after plying out your bloody tooth.

Is plying a word? Well, it sounds good.

Long live Target and Salvo (my pet name for the Salvation Army)

Helen said...

That purse in the 2nd image looks like it would hold a brick (always a question I like to ask myself when purse shopping), and I need those blue cleaning gloves. I'm really not seeing your dish, baby.

muse said...

Those things look like something I would have designed for my barbie when I was 7. ucking fugly is the correct adjective.


$500 for a designer dress? Whose name though- Elle?

I think that is a hook on Posh's head and she is hanging on the wall.

Gawd,with all that money , you would think she would look a lot better.

Moi said...

Pro - she (at least her boobs) can be used as a flotation device in case of a water landing

CarmenSinCity said...

I know girl - they are some pretty bad ads. I totally agree.

Diane said...

"If you want me to spend $500 for a dress or some shoes then you'd better make them pretty"

Amen, sister. And I'd add, you'd better make me feel like a princess while i'm wearing it!

LA said...

I feel like we're all in on some joke in which Posh is made to look like an ass in the name of fashion, but really, Marc Jacobs just punk'd her ass.

ablondeblogger said...

Yes! That's what I was thinking exactly! The crocheted toilet paper cover...seriously!!

Those are pretty hideous ads. I thought you were going to admit to doctoring them in Photoshop or something because I couldn't believe they'd really do those..ugh!

Mister Underhill said...

So when are you posting naked pics of yourself?