Monday, January 29, 2007

American Idol Judges Are So Mean!

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Simon: Okay, let's see our first contestant. Go ahead Kevin.


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Kevin: Yo Popozao!
In Portugese it means "bring yo ass,"
on the floor, and move it real fast.
I want to see your kitty and a lil bit of titty -



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Simon: Stop! That's enough. That was horrible, awful. Get out now!



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Kevin: Yeah, you don't know nuthin. I'ma be big in 2007! Word. Check it. Peace out!



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Paula: You looked hot though. Can I get a lil drink from that bottle before you go?

Simon: NEXT!



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Paris: I know y'all be wishin
you was in my position
I'm makin mad money fool
making all the Greek billionaires drool.
Poor Nicole ain't got a clue
how to lose weight without starvin
it's easy, just go to the toilet and spew!

Duh, I mean duh, I mean really DUH!



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Simon: Thank you, that's enough. Sweetheart, what are you thinking? That was atrocious.



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Paris Oh come on. Please? I'll let you do me in the butt.


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Randy: Oh Kay! I vote yes.

Paula: Sorry, but I gotta say no. You looked amazing though and mumble mumble (hic)

Simon: NEXT! Okay Prunella Jones. Tell us why you should be the next American Idol.



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Pru: Well Simon, because I'm hot, sexy, spicy, smart, cute, I've got a great ass, and if you don't pick me I'm going to set your cars on fire. Tee hee.


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Pru: uno, dose, tres, four

Prunalicious definition, make them boys go crazy
no one can dance as good as me except for Patrick Swayze
coming to me, call me cutie
I'm the P, to the R,U,N,E,L,the L,to the A
and don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?


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Simon: Uhhhhhh okay that's enou --


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Pru: I'm Prunalicious (so delicious)
I shake my ass and spread my legs because I'm so ambitious
some people try to say my rhymes are repetitious
but yo they just jealous of my fitness (so delicious)
t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty! Owwwwwwww


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Simon: Stop! Enough! That was dreadful, abominable, and just plain wrong. I think I'm going to vomit. Randy, what do you say?

Randy: Sorry, dawg, but you're a dog. Not going to happen.


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Pru: Wait, I can yodel! High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo --


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Simon: NO! Did you really believe you could be the American Idol? You must be deaf.


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Paula: You're hair looked great, but....(giggle) okay nevermind, you really did suck.



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Pru: No, no you don't understand how much I want this! It's not fair. I've lost 200 pounds for this, I stole $600 bucks from my grandma just to get here! I am gorgeous and I will be famous! All three of you suck! You guys are going to be sorry. I've got a knife in my purse and I'm going to cut you up! I'm going to boil your bunnies! You will regret this! Oh yes! Ha ha ha ha. I'm mad I tell you. Please? Pleeeeeeeeeease?!


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Simon: NEXT.

Paula: hic.

14 comments:

Diane said...

Baby that 10 minute Abs video is really paying off!

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Pru, I believe in your talent. And I think K-Fed was checkin' out your Popozao when you were waiting in line!

Anonymous said...

i'm guessing the love fest with simon before the judging didn't work out?

prunella jones said...

Di- you bet. My FUPA has shrunk signifigantly.

Mish- can you blame him? Britney only dreams of being as hot as me.

Pink- oooooo that bastard! I was assured I would make the semi-finals at least!

Scottsdale Girl said...

Aw Pru, even with voice lessons since you were 3 and all the karaoke contests you won they still didn't pick you?

Anonymous said...

GIRL! You got robbed! You were totally bootylicous up in there! Did you make sure to flip off the cameras and scream about what classless peices of shit they are on the way out? They really hate that, it makes them feel really low!

That was a great one Pru!!

Anonymous said...

Pru - Obviously, you are too talented for these slobs. I say you should try out for the next round of Rockstar. Dave Navarro will appreciate your avantgarde style better than these fucks.

prunella jones said...

SG- I'm still in shock.

T- Oh don't worry, they WILL pay. He he he. But I'm not stressing about it right now. I swiped some of Paula's valium on my way out and I just popped a few to calm my nerves. Aaaaaah vaaaalium. drool.

LA- hhhhmmm Rockstar you say? Not a bad idea. I've always wanted to be one of those. All I'd need is some bitchin leather pants. Good idea!

ffleur said...

You are channelling Simon perfectly!

Love the Paula "hics". Just the right touch Pru.

GetFlix said...

I am shocked at how they treated you! You seem to have all the right moves.

Anonymous said...

I'd vote for Paris is she let me stick it in her butt.

Anonymous said...

Jealous, I tell ya. They were all envious of you obvious talent - and fantabulous booty! Shake that moneymaker baby ... but please do stay away from K-fed; he's toxic.

prunella jones said...

Ffleur- thanks (hic)

GF- those bitches were jealous.

Honk- I don't think Paris is too discriminating about who and what goes into her butt.

Fran- I've had a taste of his poison paradise and I'm addicted to him. I'm ready for him to intoxicate me now with his lovin now!

Brenda said...

Simon wants you to have his secret love-child. ;-)