Monday, June 22, 2009

4 Television Related Confessions

1. I wish life were like an episode of that old show Three's Company. That way my only problems would be paying rent and avoiding the homophobic landlord, and jiggling would make pretty much everything better. I'm great at jiggling so this would have worked out nicely for me.

Also - and this is a highly embarrassing confession - I really wouldn't mind it if reality came with a laugh track. Because whenever I make a smartalecky quip or zinger, I do sorta halfway expect to hear the studio audience kick in with high pitched giggles and applause.


2. Does anyone else think that Spencer Pratt from The Hills looks like someone grafted a toddler's head onto an adult's body? Is it just me?


3. To my great shame, I'm starting to find the goofy guy from those annoying Free Credit Report.com commercials sexy. Somebody slap me.


4. Sometimes while trying to will myself out of bed in the morning, I hear Richard Dawson's voice in my head saying something like this:


One hundred people surveyed, top five answers are on the board, here's the question. How will Prunella Jones spend her day?

Buzz Buzz!

Um....checking off everything on her to do list in a timely and productive manner?

Let's see....show me to do list!

BRRRRAAANK, wrong answer.

How about bleaching the three inches of dark roots back to blonde? That's what she needs to do anyway.

BRRRRAAANK. Nope, not on the board.


Oh, I know! Screw around on the internet and waste time like the true slacker she is!

Hmmmmmm. Survey says?

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!

20 comments:

Cora said...

Too funny! I've often thought that about the laugh track too. Wouldn't that be FANFREAKINGTASTIC?!

And that Spencer Brat-- uhh, Pratt observation is SPOT ON!

xl said...

I think re-runs would be nice in life, too. It would give me hope that I could get something right the second time around. But, of course, it wouldn't. [cue laugh track]

Mr. Condescending said...

I saw the episode where spencer pratt punched that kid a few times, that kid is now even more of a loser than spencer pratt is.

Eric said...

I too wish life was like 'Three's Company'... gorgeous roommates and hijinks ensuing. Well everything except how Jack Tripper's name is disturbingly like 'Jack T. Ripper'.

ps - I do have my own laugh track .wav player with rimshot and non-rimshot mode.

Cheasty said...

HA! i used to wish i could be a designing woman. dixie carter's character was (and who am i kidding, still is) one of my top five personal heros, plus it looked like so much fun to throw poison-tipped barbs at delta burke.

WendyB said...

I want to be able to walk in dramatic slo-mo with a gang of like-minded do-gooders, like in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Law & Order intros.

John Smith said...

Not to mention how great it would be to live a life where the solution to all your problems always involved meeting at the regal beagle for a few drinks and telling lots and lots of lies. Actually I guess that is a lot like real life.

diane said...

I once did my hair blonde and wore it like Chrissy. It was like a blonde wig on Pocahontas.
I don't watch t.v., so I don't know who the sexy nerds are. I remember Richard Dawson though. I always thought he was really sexy on Hogan's Heroes.

jeremy said...

if life were really like three's company, you'd have that creepy macrame owl hanging in the background and no thank you.

Dr Zibbs said...

I do believe you'd be a great jiggler but I bet you wouldn't put up with Furley's shit. Maybe Roper's but...

words...words...words... said...

I think Spencer always looks like a guy that either didn't hear or didn't get a joke and is looking around while trying to decide if he should laugh anyway.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

100 people surveyed and my number one answer was slacker too!! I'm really good at it.

Love that!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Awwww.... here I was guessing you would spend the day admiring yourself naked in the mirror and taking artsy photos...

Phat Mama said...

My blog is my laugh track!

Such is why I love all of you so very much. :)

Spencer Pratt is a jackass.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I think I would have preferred Happy Days. You know damn well I would be sleeping with The Fonz!

erin said...

Survey Says!

The guy from the free credit report has a cute smile. Like he's a dork, but he might be a good screw? Or clever? Or that you might read the same blogs...i mean books.

Prunella Jones said...

Exactly!

LegalMist said...

Hahaha - I'm right there with ya' on the "list" for the day....!

Krissyface said...

I secretly wanted Richard Dawson to kiss me. I heard he used tongue sometimes, and that's just so nasty it's almost sexy.

There. There's my embarrassing confession.

Prunella Jones said...

Oooo, that's a good one!