Sunday, December 23, 2007

I am a dork.

You already know this so I guess I will go ahead and tell you what I did the other day.

The weather was really nice on Friday, very sunny and not too cold. My mom decided she would go for walk around the neighborhood and left about the same time that I drove off to run a few errands. On my way home I spotted her ambling along in her high-waisted mom jeans and goofy straw hat. So I drove up behind her, rolled down my window and hollered out, "you better shake that ass a little faster, old lady!"

I'm sure you can guess what happened next. It wasn't my mom! It was some other old chick. Boy, was she surprised. So was I. We just gaped at each other for a minute until I put the petal to the metal and roared home, laughing like a hyena. God, I'm dumb.

But it did cheer me up. Sorry for being so mopey lately. I guess I just got depressed when I realized I'll never be a teen model. Thanks for all your nice comments and emails.

Well I hope everyone has a great holiday celebrating whatever it is you celebrate. May you all live long and prosper and may I always deserve your good will and friendship — you always have mine.

Cheers!

22 comments:

MsPuddin said...

Haha classic dork moment…welcome to my world…glad you are feeling better….

D. Prince said...

Reminds me of the time I thought I was grabbing my friend's ass on the subway but it wasn't, it too was an old lady. A very cranky old lady if I remember correctly, well I don't really blame her - I grabbed it hard. That was over 18 years ago and I still laugh whenever I think of it.

Happy Holidays Pru! Thanks for all of the laughs, I needed them this year.

Ms Smack said...

hi hi!!

Merry Christmas! :)

BottleBlonde said...

BAAAAAAhahahahha! I'll bet that was the most action that old bat got in the past 69 years.

LA said...

I guess it's better you drove off rather than tried to explain with, "sorry, I thought you were my mother."

Happy holidays, Pru. Looking forward to a fantastic 2008 with you, Tucksworth, and all the gang.

muse said...

Fa, La, La, La, La
La, La, La, La!

It is a hard time of the year for many people-last year I felt like such a fr..king misfit. You know the ones? The ones that don't belong under the tree because they are not perfect? So we are sent to some horrible place(I would have said island but that conjures up positive feelings)where we are disconnected with everything and everyone at this time of year.

Hang in there!

MJ said...

I hope somebody notices my ass when I'm old, shakin' or not, mistaken or not.

Happy Holidays, Pru.

Diane said...

Even worse, I once saw a hot guy walking down the street and was checking him out, only to realize it was my older brother - yuck!

Mister Underhill said...

We are so alike. I realized a while back I would never have anal with a teen model and that made me go into a funk the last few months!

morbid misanthrope said...

You'll feel better after you kill a Christmas goose with a Christmas sickly orphan like Scrooge did in that one Charles Dickens book. Or was it the other way around? Either way, have a Merry Christmas

Memphis Steve said...

That's funny as hell. And Merry Christmas!

prettykitty said...

not as bad as when i told someone who honked behind me tonight to "f*ck off!" turned out to be my mom's friend. um..yeah.

happy holidays, pru. thank jesus they're almost over.

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Prunella, my mom came home so depressed after you did that. She cried and cried and just kept saying, "But I WAS shaking my ass fast as I could!!"

Happy holidays, Pru!

LA said...

OMG, Diane!

pru - you may enjoy this story. My 75-year-old aunt went for her routine colonoscopy. She was stipped and in the position, and the last thing she remembers hearing from behind her before the anesthesia took effect was, "wow, she sure doesn't look 75!"

GetFlix said...

Pru's back.

BUMBLE!!! said...

Merry Christmas!!

I did a similar thing at work the other day when I thought a person looked like a fellow worker - alas, it wasn't an ass shaking remark, and I had people cover for my mistaken identity, but alas...

Worse than that, I called an androgynous black woman that I was trying to get to leave sir - as in "excuse me, sir" (i was trying to be polite in a confrontational situation where she wasn't leaving after closing on her own and i only saw her from the back). Let's just say that wasn't pretty and I had to amble back to get other people to step in for my dumbness.

That said, hope you're feeling better.

take care of yo bad self.

A new year and a new you is coming.

Who knows? You may just end up being that teen model you always hoped you be.

Ms Smack said...

ok, one time at my 10 year old daughter's net ball game, I said to a mother standing next to me 'Look at that old pervert sitting there watching the skirts fly up!'about this old dude standing alone by the net.

She said 'yeah, that's my husband'

Um, ok. No amount of words can retract my foot from mouth.

OneHungMan said...

Well done.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Now things like this is why the "LOL" was invented. I'm still giggling. That is hilarious.

Prunella Jones said...

Mspddin- if being a dork is wrong, I don't want to be right. Or something like that.

D.- you little ass grabber.

Ms.Smack- how 'bout ya?

BB- she did not look happy. Oh well.

LA- I cut and run because I'm rotten like that.

Muse- ain't it the truth.

MJ- you will be shaking that ass when you are a hundred.

Diane- holy shit that is funny!

Mister U- I feel your pain. Well, not really.

Morbid- the ghost of xmas past and I had fun laughing at my old hairstyles.

Memphis Steve- to you too.

PK- well what does she expect if she honks at you?

I'm really glad they are over now.

Mish- what can I say? She needs to shake it faster. The truth hurts sometimes.

LA- wow, that is an awesome story. I'm jealous of your aunt. I hope somebody says that about me one day while looking up my butt.

GF- I never left, just hibernated for a bit.

Bumble- I think there is a teen model inside us all waiting to get out. Well, not really but it sounded inspiring.

Ms.Smack- OMG I would have loved to watch that exchange!

Onehung- I bow to you, sir.

Brenda- love the hat, baby. Hope your Xmas was good!

MizMouthy said...

Something that might happen to me... hmmmm....

WendyB said...

Best!Story!Ever!